(Sargam's) Inexplicable Attraction

K:"Teeku?"
P:"Yes!"

K:" Yaar need some advice."
P:"Welcome to Prateek Murthy Consultation Services!
Hindi ke liye 1 dabayein
For English, press 2
Telugu lo matlaadadaaniki 3 nokkandi.

K:" This is not funny! I have a problem!"
P:' Financial problem press 1
Love problem press 2
Emotional problem press 3
No problem then go to route Menu you will be told how to create one"

K:" TEEEEEKKKU!!!!!!!!!!"

P:" Ok OK! What happened now?"
K:" Arnav wants to go to a movie with me"

P:" Ok! pause! Understood... I will drop you! Wait outside and in fifteen minutes something or the other will go wrong... you will come out! I will drop you back and try to analyze and help you and get bad mouthed by Arnav! Naakardhamai poyindi!( Telugu) ( I understood perfectly).

K:" Please ra! Em picture ki vellali?" ( Telugu) ( Which movie should I suggest?)
P:" Lemme think! UMMMMM!!! Gabbarsingh! Suits your Arnav!

K:" Only English"
P:" Then what will you watch?"

K:" Vollu elaa undi?"( telugu)( How dare you)
P:" You don't watch much na! Sorry"

K:" Tell me a good movie"
P:" Ok! Hanuman and Ganesha-11"
K:" Grrrrrr"
P:" Thought you will not have problem as you already know the story!"

(Sargam's) Inexplicable Attraction

Anji:"Mami chotey called. He is coming and Amanji has taken an appointment with Batteesi baba! He gives open appointments to those who sponsor his poor feeding programme! So I asked Aman to do the needful!"
Mami::" Hello hai bye bye! Arnav bitua ko kaisan samjhaayein?"( How to pacify Arnav).

Anji:" My kuch karthi hun! Idea! Bathathee hun ki corporate stress management ke liye unka session lagwaaya jaaye!"(I will do something! Ok how about asking him to check the baba out for  a corporate stress management session)
Mamiji: "Yeh simpliya diya thumney problem ko!"( You have simplified the problem)

As they were talking Arnav walked in!
"Chotey meri ek friend hain! She suggested we invite Batteesi Baba for a session on employee stress counselling at AR! Anjali said as soon as he settled with them with his tea!"

"Batteesi What? Whats wrong with you Di? And my employees are stress free!"Arnav barked at them making Manorama flinch!
"Naahi babua! Eeko sunneka padi bahuth accha baath karbey hain!" ( You must listen to him! He speaks very well!) Mami said.

Anji:"Chotey I want to go will you take me?"
Arnav just stared at his DI! Whats Wrong with her?
A:"Di Jijaji? Are you both Ok? Did he call from Australia?"
Anji:"Haan Haan Chotey! Just want you to go once!"
A:"ME? Are you crazy?"

M:"Anjali bitiya craziya gayi hain! Per Chinta tho kareka padi na?"
( Yeah she has gone crazy,,, But its a matter to be worried about).

A:"Kyun Mami?"
M:"Kasey ki Tumhara phaan phollowing itna Khatarnak haina?"
( Coz your fan following is so very dangerous).

A:"What?"
Anjali warned Mami with her eyes and said, "Nahi I mean so many people are after you, I feel kahin Nazar na lag jaye"
( someone might cast an evil eye on you).

A:"Di You know I don't believe in all this!"

M:"Hum bhi nahi Uper se ye deshi churail and importiya ke videshi vampirwa ka cross breed tho bilkul nai!
Arnav did not understand! H elooked at his Di who said... Chotey Please once! Only for once will you come with me?
OK Di! But Its for you not for me!

Thank you chotey just change in to Kurtha pyjama and come.
Noway Di! If you want me to come I am going to come as I am! Not dressed like a clown!
Anjali bitiya... yeh sab chodo! Chalo! Hum Makeuppiya key aathey hain! Manorama went to fetch her bag!

After ten minutes all three of them were on the way to the Ashram of Batteesi Baba called Gyaan Dhaam!!

(Sargam's) Inexplicable Attraction

P:" G.I.Joe;  Retaliation"
K:" chi!"

P:" Jack the giant Slayer"
K:" Ammo!NO"

P:"Journey 2 The mysterious Island"
K:" Don't need any more mystery in life!"

P:"The Call"
K:" Haaaw!"

P:" Thu bol"
K:" YES! I got it!!!! Life of Pi"

P:"WHY?"
K:" You don't understand there is no ... eh... er..."

P:" Oh! Lovely there is no Er and Eh in it! Got it"
K:"What?"

P:" That there are no intimate scenes to embarass you!"
K:" You are my true brother you know that?"

P:" Arnav knows it more than you and me!"
K:"Yeah! Thanks will let you know" sighs! and hangs up and calls Arnav!

(Sargam's) Inexplicable Attraction

A:" Yeah! Which movie?"
K:" Life of Pi"
A:" What?"
K:" Ji haan!"

A:" Are you sure?"
K:" Ofcourse"
A:" Khushi its a 3D movie!"
K:" Bahuth Acchha!:" Making a  mental note to ask Prateek about it!

A:" ok! 7.45 pm...Imax Khairatabad!"
K:" Theek hain!bye!
A:"bye"
Anjali winked at  Mami who winked back meaning- noted the time and venue!

M:"Matinee mein kaay nahi jaavath ho?"
( Why cant you go in the afternoon?)

A:"Office chodke movie jaawunga mami?" Arnav shut her up!
( will I bunk office and go to a movie? How could you?)

M:"Din mein safety hogi babua!"
( It will be safe during the day time).

A:"Raath mein bhi mujhey koi kuch nahi karsaktha mami!"
( None can threaten my safety even at night!)

M:"Anjali bitiya isey thoda accha khila pilaa key bhejo... kah sey ki kal weakya gayaa tho?
( Anjali feed him proprly! What if he becomes weak tomorrow?).

Anjali looked petrified at what Mami implied!
Anji:"Chotey..."

A:"Whats wrong with you Di? Ab you all going to tell me when to go to a movie too! I want to go back!"
"Nai!!"both the ladies shut themselves up as they wanted him to go to the baba!

All three got down at Gyan Dham and Aman was already waiting there with their entry passes! They went directly in! They walked into a huge hall and a volunteer said "EEEEEE" as a greeting! Aman Said "EEEEE"

Arnav and Anjali stared while Mami asked" ka kartha hain!" ( What is he doing?)
Aman immediately hushed her and said "Its a greeting ma'am!"
M:"Greeting? Yeh kaisa greetingwa hain?"
( Whats this greeting?)

A:" Di whats all this?"
An elderly devotee walked by saw their confusion and said," Simple son! E! Batteesi Baba's power house! EEEE"

E stands for...

Eternity of the soul
Evolution and
Eeshwar!The Almighty!
E makes you open your mouth in a  way, that forces a smile on your lips...endearing you to every one... showing your 32 teeth to the world baring your soul to one and all...
The thirty suthras of Batteesi baba... here read this", he handed him a pocket hand book which was titled
32 Suthas of Batteesi Baba

Eternal( Be)( Soul, body and Mind)
Evolve( Life, spirituality and attitude)
Etherial( Concentrate On)( Self, society community and the world and Universe)
Enliven( Atma, Jeeva )
Energise( Environment and entity)
Envisage( development and growth
Envision( Future)
Enthrall( One and all)

Arnav felt Dizzy and stopped reading!
M:" Lagtha hain us Churail ka effect jaa raha hain!
( seems like that Vamp's effect is getting diluted already)
Anji: I think so maami! Chotey you Ok?"
A:" Ya Di"

The elderly man went on! We are in E Yuga according to Batteesi Babaji! Electronic! E mail E marketing E seva E ....
"EE ko bandh Karo Aman! Mami yelled!"
( Please stop this chap!)

Aman asked him where is Babaji! He checked his watch and said its time for Pravachan he will be in the conference hall!
Conference hall? What the @#$% Arnav swore and was heard by the Baba himself who was just walking towards the hall! After introduction he looked at Arnav with much love and said," What can I do My Son EEEEE!"

Anji:"Babaji Please help my brother!"
B:" Chaliye lets go insde and ushered them in and said," Kya hua?"

Anji: He has er... an influence!"
A:" What the!"

B:"EEEEE!!!! He is divine! Your brother is giving the lnowledge of the universe... how can he be under any influence! The universe will be under his influence!"
Anji:" How can you say that?"
B: What did he just say?"
A:" What the!!!!"

B:" exactly! He turne dto a 2000 odd corporate executives sitting in the hall on the floor in Padmasana and said," Today's divine Topic is WHAT THE!!!!

They all said EEEE In acknowledgement!
Aman:" Sir this organisation shall be very supportive for our new range of oral care products!
A:" What the $%^&"

B:" Yes What the My dear son! What the!"